she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I color on your dick again?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
