I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
