garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
