He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
