i can't believe i had my finger in that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
