My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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