dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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