Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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