it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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