he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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