Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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