Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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