Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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