Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
