Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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