No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
