Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
