Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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