apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
