you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
