the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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