everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
