i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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