I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
