And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
