This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
