oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
