Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
