Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
