does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
