Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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