I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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