Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
