We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
