we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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