In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
