Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
