At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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