Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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