For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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