help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
