I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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