I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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