I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didn't notice because vodka
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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