K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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