What a fucking waste of an outfit
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
