dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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