So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
