sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
