I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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