the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
