Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
