Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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