I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
