Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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